Heaven in Islam = Vegas

Imagine this: you did very well in earth and God will reward you by being your pimp in heaven! Allah promised Muslims with virgins that were never touched before and with boys to serve them (or do something else) in heaven. They will be also allowed to drink wine. Imagine this: Allah forbids wine in earth and allows it in heaven. This defeats the point. People drink to have a sense of relief from the shit they face every day or because they are attached to wine as a child is to his mother. I thought that in heaven we are already relieved and also attached to God, so we do not need wine. I will post satanic verses from the Qu-ran proving this point. Muhammad wanted to lure fighters into his religion by telling them: “die in my wars and you will get a lot of chics when you go upstairs!” Muslims lie all the time and say it is not true. Here is the evidence

Sex/Sex/Sex/Virgins

Qur’an 56:8 “Those of the right hand-how happy will be those of the right hand! …Who will be honored in the Garden of Bliss"

Qur’an 56:13 “A multitude of those from among the first, and a few from the latter, (will be) on couch-like thrones woven with gold and precious stones. Reclining, facing each other. Round about them will (serve) boys of perpetual (freshness), of never ending bloom, with goblets, jugs, and cups (filled) with sparkling wine. No aching of the head will they receive, nor suffer any madness, nor exhaustion. And with fruits, any that they may select: and the flesh of fowls, any they may desire. And (there will be) Hur (fair females) with big eyes, lovely and pure, beautiful ones, like unto hidden pearls, well-guarded in their shells. A reward for the deeds.”

Qur’an 56:33 “Unending, and unforbidden, exalted beds, and maidens incomparable. We have formed them in a distinctive fashion and made them virgins, loving companions matched in age, for the sake of those of the right hand.” [Another translation reads:] “On couches or thrones raised high. Verily, We have created them (maidens) incomparable: We have formed their maidens as a special creation, and made them to grow a new growth. We made them virgins—pure and undefiled, lovers, matched in age.”

Muslims will drink wine in heaven

Qur’an 47:15 “(Here is) a Parable of the Garden which those who fear and keep their duty are promised: in it are rivers of unpolluted water; rivers of milk which the taste never changes; rivers of wine, a delicious joy to the drinkers; and rivers of running honey pure and clear. In it there are all kinds of fruits with pardon from their Lord.”

Qur’an 76:5 “As for the righteous, they will drink a cup of wine from a spring, making it gush forth abundantly.” Qur’an 76:19 “And round them shall serve immortal boys of perpetual freshness, never altering in age. If you saw them, you would think they were scattered pearls.” Qur’an 76:21 “Upon them will be green garments of fine green silk and heavy gold brocade. They will be adorned with bracelets of silver; their Lord will slack their thirst with wine.”

One more thing, people in heaven will not piss (where will all the wine go?)
Bukhari:V4B54N476-544 “The Prophet said, ‘In Paradise they will not urinate, relieve nature, spit, or have any nasal secretions. Everyone will have two virgins who will be so beautiful and transparent the bones of their legs will be seen through their flesh.’”

I wonder though. Do women also get male virgins? I do not think so. I really think they will serve tea and sheeshah. Poor Muslim women. By thw way, Who will get dina in heaven? Yummy