Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Are You Hungry for Love?


I am sick and tired of talking about Muhammad, so I decided not to write about him today. I want to write about love, especially our hunger for love.

I think most marriages and romantic relationships fail because of people’s disappointment in the ones they love. The desire and hunger for love can overwhelm them and can create so much sadness and anxiety in them. They expect too much from the ones they love. They expect to be loved unconditionally and to be fed with love. I often hear both men and women complaining about the lack of their emotional attunement with their significant others. They also complain that the ones they love do not reciprocate with them and do not love them as expected.

An author once described people who are in love as stupid idiots who put up with abuse and end up abusing their lovers. I’d been there. I loved someone and tolerated her emotional distancing. I also yearned for her to love me back, but she was cold as ice. For some reason, I held to the naïve expectation that she will change and love me, but she did not and I started to get angry with her. My anger suffocated her and she decided to leave me. This was a huge blow for me. I felt that my life stopped and I could not eat or sleep for weeks. In retrospect, I think I expected too much from her and was angry when she did not provide it. I expected her to give me something that would tame my hunger for love, but I was not even able to describe it to her. I think we will never get rid of our hunger for love, but we need to notice it and not let it take us over. Some may say that Jesus may help us with this hunger if we accepted his love; afterall, who would die for you these days as he did 2000 years ago? Others may say that no one can help us with this hunger. You decide!

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do not think there is somebody on earth capable of satisfying our hunger for love and thus it is unfair to expect that from our partners. God is love and is the sole source of love, so it sounds logic to me that I should go to the source to get as much as I need untill I am satisfied. And only then can I pass on the love I recieved to my partner and family and friends. And only then can I accept their failure, if they fail, in giving me love knowing they did not yet get enough from the source to pass it on.

4:45 PM  
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